Journal Entries
by TheWindWakersDream
Summary: A list of journal entries from Jaune Arc.


August twelfth: The doctor told me that I should keep a log of my thoughts in a journal. It didn't seem like a terrible idea, so I'm giving it a shot. Everything around me is so fascinating. When I look out the window, I can see so many different colours. There's blue and green when it is warm, and the great expanse is governed by the brightest thing you will ever see. It's so bright it hurts to **look **at it. Even when things get cold and the blue turns to black, while the green turns grey and the bright ball of light turns into a glowing white arc, everything is still so beautiful. I always have to ask myself why the doctors and the nurses don't find it as beautiful as I do. They say that they've all seen things more beautiful than that, but how can I believe them if I haven't seen anything myself? The white walls are what's normal here, and what's outside is different. They're wrong, but whenever I tell them that, they get upset and sad. I wonder why? The doctor told me that I'd be staying in here for a long time, and that it will be even longer before I don't need to come here regularly. It sounds amazing! They say that I'll be allowed to go outside and into the green expanse. That I can do whatever I like and live life to the fullest. It makes me wonder why I'm not doing that at the moment, I wonder why the doctors can go outside, but I can't. I'm so curious, everything is so beautiful and fascinating and weird. I can only wonder how long it will take before I'm outside and seeing what they call beauty.

August nineteenth: I had forgotten that I was writing in this book, the doctor asked me if I was keeping regular updates and I was so scared I hid it from him. I told him something that was wrong so that he'd be happy, but it feels weird. Did I do something I shouldn't have? In any case, I'm writing in it now and I'll keep on doing so regularly.

August twenty first: The doctor is always asking me what my name is, because I can never remember it. He told me that it was Jaune Arc, but those words are so distant to me, I can't remember hearing them anywhere. Really, I can't remember anything before I started writing in this book. I don't even remember writing in it; all I can think of is the words on the pages. This was written by me, wasn't it?

September first: Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc Jaune Arc

September eighth: My name is Jaune Arc; I was born on the third of March nineteen ninety seven. I was admitted to the Ever After Asylum for the clinically insane after a tragedy involving my mother, father, and seven sisters. I was the only survivor that night. On the rare occasions that I can remember what happened, I wish that I wasn't.

September tenth: I was introduced to an apprentice nurse today. Her name is Ruby Rose, and she's my age, she's really nice and pretty, and she talks to me like the doctors talk to each other. She's not like the other nurses, I really like her.

September eleventh: It's amazing; I can remember what was written in this book without having to read it. All of the words are already stored into my head without me constantly having to recheck them. I can't believe this is happening. I feel like such a child for thinking the sun and moon were so beautiful, I'm getting smarter, the doctor says. But I can feel that there is a lot more for me to learn.

September twelfth: I'm having more thoughts on a regular basis, but they're not like before. They're complex, and hard to find an answer for. I'm capable of spending hours at a time just wondering what could be beyond the walls of this asylum. I don't belong here, and I will be out one day. Sadly, with these extra thoughts, come my old memories and the ability to keep them. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my family, what I could have done to save them and how I miss them so dearly. Ruby tells me that they're in a better place now; I don't know what I'd do without that girl. She's my only ray of sunshine in this decrepit place.

September fourteenth: Yesterday was… odd. To say the least. Another nurse was introduced to me, her name is Weiss Schnee (how I hope I'm spelling that correctly) and she has a bit of a temper. Ruby once told me that you should treat all women with a sense of honour. But when I spoke to Weiss, she seemed fairly… upset, by my mere presence even. A pity too, she is so beautiful.

September seventeenth: I feel that I should ask the doctor why so many new nurses are being hired this time of year. Be it the quiet Blake Belladonna to Ruby's sister herself, Yang Xiao Long. WHY MUST THEY HAVE SUCH HARD NAMES TO SPELL?! Still, I welcome the company, all the more people to learn from.

September eighteenth: Blake gave me a book. She tells me that she wants it back by tomorrow and that I should read as much of it as I can before then. I don' know why she's so concerned, I had already finished the book by the time she left. When I told this to Yang, she called me a 'nerd' and laughed in my face. Whatever that means. Ruby seemed more impressed by the apparent feat and congratulated me on the new-found skill. Weiss, as always, remained indifferent. One thing struck me as odd though, the doctor asked me to say his name. I can remember him pulling this trick when I didn't know my own name, but he never told me his. At least, I don't remember him telling me.

September twentieth: The doctor did it again! Three days in a row now he's asked me for his name. Why would he start such an odd treatment now of all times? He seemed even more upset that I couldn't remember his name than when I couldn't remember my own. The grey haired fool belongs in here just as much as I do, I swear.

September twenty first: I can only wonder if it is the best idea to write down the contents of this day. The doctor did tell me to keep a record of things, so here goes. I had a visitor. Shocking, I know, but I did have friends before all of this began. Her name is Pyrrha Nikos, an old childhood friend of mine, and an apparent survivor of the attack. I thought the entire town was wiped out back then, but it seems we both made it out okay. It feels wrong though, as if that shouldn't be the case. How could both I and my best friend of all people have survived that day? While no one else did? She was scared too; I saw it the moment I laid eyes on her. She was nervous sitting in that chair, but the moment her eyes locked with mine fear flooded into them. I felt horrible at the sight, but we had a conversation anyway. I wish I could call it amicable, but it was strained at best. I told her of the friends I had made, she informed me of her life and we parted ways. I highly doubt I'll be seeing her again. It's better for her that way; no one should have to be friends with someone in an insane asylum.

September twenty sixth: OZPIN! The doctor's name is Ozpin! I have yet to tell him I know this, for I don't know how I do. But the moment he entered my room I knew who he was. I have yet to remember what he does in his life beyond administering patients, but I will remember soon enough. I will tell the doctor what I know when he visits tomorrow.

September twenty seventh: It is with a heavy heart that I write this. Clearly, my mind is far worse than I first realized. Doctor Ozpin told me something that I can only now remember because he told me. He was a friend of my father, they practically grew up together. The doctor was the one that found me in the wreckage of my home. He said that I was covered in blood, he also said that there is more he knows, but that I am not yet ready to learn it. After hearing this, I couldn't agree more.

October first: I may be a patient, but that didn't stop Yang from threatening my life when she found out about what Ruby and I had been up to. I made sure not to write about our relationship in this book, in case someone read it and the secret broke out, but my efforts were in vain. Ruby didn't seem to mind though, she was happy that she didn't have to lie anymore; she's always so kind like that. How I love my beautiful little Rose…

October sixth: Seeing as Doctor Ozpin now knew of mine and Ruby's relationship, he had her assigned as my personal nurse. We were both very pleased by this, how Ruby's face blushed when she told me will warm my heart forever. I hope that I can go outside with her one day, on a journey that will take us to somewhere no one has ever gone. That is my greatest dream in all of this, that Ruby and I can be together forever. I may just die if she reads that…

October twenty third: The doctor says I'm ready! He tells me that it's time for me to learn everything, I'm so excited. I'm nervous too though, I wonder if I truly am ready to know. But I trust the doctor, if he says I'm ready, then I'm ready. That's him now; I shall write what he tells me soon.

November first: I have refused to see Ruby. I simply cannot look her in the eyes after what the doctor told me. To think that a mere child could cause such chaos. I was the one that caused that massacre, I killed every inhabitant of that town that I grew up in. I slayed my family, friends, neighbours. I was ready to kill Pyrrha too, but that was when Ozpin showed up. That was when he took me here. I do not know what caused me to do such terrible things, or why I cannot remember them, but it explains why Pyrrha was so horrified to see me. I' scared of me too. I don't trust myself around those I care about, so I cannot have Ruby near me. Not anytime soon.

November eighteenth: She came in today, despite all of my protests, Ruby entered my room. I cried more than I had in my entire night that day. Ruby told me that she wasn't afraid of me, that I wasn't a monster and that she loved me. I told her that I loved her too; she stayed in bed with me that night. Don't get any ideas **Yang, **we didn't do anything, we just slept next to each other, well, in each other's arms, but still. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my family, even after all these months, but now, my thoughts are occupied by my new family, each and every day I think of Ruby. And each and every day because of that, I smile.

November twenty fifth: The Doctor says I'm doing better. That my mind has come to accept what happened that day, and that I should be allowed out soon. Whether my mind accepts it or not, I will never forgive myself for the horrors I committed. But the thought of seeing the outside world once again fills me with joy. I'm sure Ruby will be happy to hear the welcome news too.

November thirtieth: I fear for my own safety as I write this, for I know that Yang will be in here any moment. Ruby decided that we were ready for the next step in our relationship last night. We both lost our innocence. I feel only guilt that we had to perform such an intimate task in a hospital bed in a mental ward, but she seemed quite adamant about it. Who am I to deny a girl her_

December first: Yesterday I received my first injury. My face is quite sore from Yang's fist; I never knew the girl could pack such a punch. Hopefully tomorrow will bring better tidings.

December second: A long time ago, I wrote of a girl by the name of Weiss Schnee. I wrote that she had a bit of a temper, let me refute that. Weiss Schnee is a horrible person, and yet everyone seems to love her. They always speak so fondly of her, and all of her accomplishments. Yet she seems to find it necessary to destroy all of my hopes and dreams. The girl is a sadistic freak who should not be given the position of nurse. When I told Ozpin this, HE UPPED MY MEDICATION! Let it be recorded here for all to see that Weiss Schnee is not a nice lady, and I do not like her.

December third: Blake gave me a new book; she seems to enjoy seeing how fast I'm capable of reading them. She said that it was the Christmas season, so she gave me A Christmas Carole. It was meh, I wasn't very fond of it. It was far too relatable for me to enjoy properly, I guess Blake never heard the news, lucky her.

December fifth: Yang apologized for breaking my jaw bone today, Ruby informed her that it was in fact, her decision to do it and I was trying my hardest to be a gentleman. She then told me that I would have to marry Ruby to make sure she would stay pure her whole life. It certainly got me thinking, marriage isn't a bad concept, and I do still wish to be with her forever. Marriage kind of solidifies that. Perhaps I should propose when I'm out of here, it would be a nice gift for my first day out…

December twenty sixth: Christmas was yesterday and I don't think I will ever have a better one. Yang gave me a letter of formal apology, Blake gave me a new book, Weiss gave me the gift of not having her presence, something we both enjoyed, and Ruby gave me a Santa outfit… that she wore… with nothing else. For a girl that always acts so innocent, she can easily spin the dial. I felt sad that I couldn't give them anything myself, but they laughed the idea away instantly. Instead, I gave them my eternal love and gratitude. They all seemed enraptured by the gift and thanked me profusely. I'm just glad I have them in my life. It was Ozpin that gave me the best gift of all though, my release date.

December thirty first: Fifteen days. I will be released from this building in fifteen days. Every conceivable human emotion has been flooding through my head since that date was given to me. All I can say is that I will be out of here soon, and then all of my wishes will come true. I may never be able to condone for my sins, even now, I think of my family each and every day, but at least I can try again.

January eighth: One week is all that remains before I leave and Ruby has been acting more insane than I am. She's been making so many plans to take me places and see different things. I can only hope that I'm not digging too deep into her piggy bank. The look on her face when she ticks off more things to do melts my heart.

January fourteenth: I'm staining the parchment of this book; I can't believe that's how much I'm crying. Joy feels my very being as I think. Tomorrow I will be released, Ruby will take me outside for the first time and I will propose to her. Everyone has said their goodbyes, even Weiss wished me well. Blake gave me far more books than I knew she had, Yang gave me a sucker punch, but it was a loving one. And Ozpin gave me a smile, something he hadn't given anyone since my placement here. I highly doubt I will ever write anything into this book again, but I will keep it for all my days, as a reminder of the things that happened within these walls. My life broke when I entered this building, but within it, I started a new one. I hope I can one day start my own family, to pay for the souls lost with my old one. May peace be with them for eternity.

-Jaune Arc

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><p>March third – 2029: My life is amazing; I can do whatever I want. I have learned to take everything I see as beautiful, from the radiant sun, to the graceful moon. I have been taught how to live life to the absolute fullest, whether it is from the friends I have made, to the secrets I keep. I can see the beauty in it all. I never knew the things that were written in this book, they all seem so terrible, and I can't help but cry as I read them. Such terrible things happened in the past, but I know we can move beyond them. It is my father's birthday today, and he asked me to grab his old journal for him. It's a ritual he does on every birthday of his, he reads it once every year, but I've never actually read it myself. I love my father, and I wish him a happy birthday and a happy life. He deserves it more than anyone.<p>

-Jaune Arc Jr


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